It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
