you guys were way drunker than both of me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
