Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
