question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
