im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
