i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
