I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
