Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
