is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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