Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
