Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
