Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
