i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
