Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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