he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it because I queefed?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
