jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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