I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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