I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
