well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
