If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Couch. On fire.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
