Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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