the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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