you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
