Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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