Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
