I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize