Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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