i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
