Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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