dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize