I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
