and you said cock pushups were impossible
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize