i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize