i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
