you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
