You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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