the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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