What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
