I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
