drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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