think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Girls should come with a carfax report
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
