he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
