its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
