Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
