Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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