I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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