i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
