i think my mom watched the whole time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we're making bets on your personal life
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
