I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ok first of all what the fuck
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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