im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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