it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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