Do vagina's smell?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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