Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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