Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
