I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
