It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
