Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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