Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
