wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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