Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize