Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
