if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
