Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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