I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
