why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
