He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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